Aftermath
by Seru-chan
Summary: There are things that Kaoru couldn't do anymore. Onesided!HikaHaru and HikaKao. Spoilers for ch62


Warning: Spoilers for Ouran Chapter 62.

All disclaimers apply.

* * *

**Aftermath**

"It was fun, wasn't it?"

Kaoru grinned widely towards his twin, as he set his scarf onto his bed post. Hikaru smiled back as he folded his own and tucked the cloth underneath his arm. Kaoru bounced towards him cheerily as soon as he got something from his drawer.

"Want to watch a movie?" he offered, holding out a DVD towards Hikaru. "We haven't watched this Christmas special yet, and you wouldn't want to miss it this year, do you?" He grinned again. "It's New Year, but it's practically the same."

Hikaru managed a weak smile and shook his head. He stretched out and did a big yawn before turning away. "Today tired me out. You know," he turned around, "lots of stuff happened." He grinned once a worried expression crossed Kaoru's face. He held out a hand to stop him before he said anything. "Don't worry. It wasn't as bad as I imagined it to be." He gave one last smile before walking out of Kaoru's room.

"Hikaru…"

xxx

Despite the fact that Hikaru wanted to be alone, Kaoru couldn't get settled. He wasn't there to see what happened, and it bothered him a lot that Hikaru didn't even talk about what Haruhi said. Kaoru was sure that he could do something. After all, he had been prepared for Haruhi's response from the start. He expected it, and he planned what to say to keep his twin's mood happy. Or at least, not make him feel so sad.

But, as selfish as it may sound, Kaoru felt unneeded.

Hikaru's smile after Haruhi's response, Hikaru's cheers for Tamaki, Hikaru's laughs when they visited the shrine to make New Year's wishes… it was all too different for Hikaru. He didn't even frown a bit and acted like nothing ever happened. Not a trace of awkwardness between the two (or maybe some, for Haruhi's part).

Kaoru was used to being his brother's support. As much as he tried to tell himself that Hikaru can grow up by himself and widen his world, he couldn't accept the fact that Hikaru could do so many things without him already. And that he could move on so fast. It took days for Kaoru to get over his feelings for Haruhi, and even now, traces of it remained. Yet Hikaru seemed so… _normal_. Kaoru wanted to do something. Kaoru wanted to be the one to make Hikaru strong.

He smiled to himself as he decisively stood up. Stretching his arms and cracking his neck, he raised a fist in front of him. "Yosh!" he said to himself, grinning. "I bet Hikaru's crying right now! I can feel it!"

And he hoped in his heart that he did.

xxx

He heard Hikaru sigh deeply as soon as he silently opened the door.

Hikaru didn't hear him. He seemed like he was in deep thought. He was sitting on the edge of his window's indoor railing, as he stared blankly outside. He sighed again, and this time, it sounded so hollow.

"Hikaru?" Kaoru whispered, sitting next to his brother. He brought his arms around him comfortingly and hugged him. "I knew it. You're crying, aren't you?" Subtle relief flowed through Kaoru. His guess was right, at least. That was all he had these days. Guesses. He couldn't feel Hikaru anymore. He hugged Hikaru tighter.

"No," Hikaru said firmly, looking at Kaoru. He looked away quickly and Kaoru grinned. Hikaru quickly ran his arm across his face to wipe the small tears.

"This is the first time you've cried," Kaoru said. "The first time I saw you, at least."

"I'm not crying," Hikaru repeated, a sniffle in his voice. "Stupid Kaoru. Just go to your room and sleep." He tried to shrug off Kaoru's arms but Kaoru wouldn't budge. He grinned widely, feeling dominance overcome him.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," Hikaru lied. "She said sorry. That's all."

Kaoru let go of Hikaru and began pacing the room. "Look, Hikaru. Things aren't going to get better just because you said that you 'won't give up'. If you don't do anything, then Haruhi will surely end up with milord. That would be bad for you."

Hikaru shrugged. "Just go to sleep."

"But Hikaru! See, I've thought of a plan. You have an advantage since we get to see Haruhi most of the day and you can use that time quickly. Also, milord can be pretty stupid when it comes to things like this, so you have the upper hand. Here's what you have to do. First, during Math, maybe you can ask her--"

"Look, Kaoru," Hikaru began, looking at Kaoru hardly. Eyes identical to his shone dangerously amidst the darkness. "If you really want to know, I'm fucking depressed and I…" his look weakened, "… I want to be alone." A pleading expression ran across his face. He looked back at his window and sighed again.

Kaoru's chest tightened as he stared at Hikaru's back in disbelief – his eyes wide and his palms sweating. He could hear his own heartbeat bang against his chest.

"Hikaru…"

"Please."

A stabbing pain of rejection slapped him across the face. Kaoru felt himself wanting to disappear. He didn't understand. Why? Why didn't Hikaru need him? Why was Hikaru running away from him like this? Sure, sure, he… he could do it on his own. He probably could. Hikaru is stronger now. Hikaru is… But why now? Why?

Why did he feel this way?

Realization struck him at the exact moment.

He fell on his knees, as he stared wide-eyed on the floor. The DVD copy of _A Christmas Carol_ hit the floor with a soft _thud_.

He had been left behind.

With that, he weakly stood up and went out of the room, without looking back. He could hear Hikaru's deep sighs grow softer and softer as he moved farther and farther away into his own room. Soon enough, the sounds of Hikaru's existence was growing fainter, until it became nothing.

Kaoru didn't realize it before, but at that exact moment, everything was, too.

**Fin.**

* * *

_Sigh._


End file.
